Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
