im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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