Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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