You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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