He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
