He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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