that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
