these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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