you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
