when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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