VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
