Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
