Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
