You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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