I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i've created a new STD.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
