He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
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if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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