I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
