Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize