That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize