It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
