I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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