I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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