Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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