Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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