Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize