Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
