he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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