Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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