During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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