One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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