found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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