either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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