my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
