Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
wanna go halves on a baby?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize