Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
