Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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