Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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