Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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