got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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