So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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