I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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