are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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