It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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