OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
