dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
