New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
