My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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