I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
