Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm skeptical of all drag queens.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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(269): View more from Michigan

No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

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(239): View more from Florida

Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer

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(530): View more from California

Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.

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