So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
