See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
