I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize