Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
