He is such a slut. More and more my type.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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