Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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