Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize