I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
